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PH DUH, A NEW ABC TV COMEDY



Scene 1 INT - FACULTY LOUNGE - EVENING

ACADEMIC LIVING ON THE PUBLIC DOLE #1
Evil consumers cause global warming!

FELLOW ACADEMICS
Hear! Hear!

ACADEMIC LIVING ON THE PUBLIC DOLE #2
Consumers. Mother earth wreckers. Let's stop 'em.

ACADEMIC LIVING ON THE PUBLIC DOLE #1
Let's get taxpayers to pay for a ship. We can live it up as if were on a cruise. We'll head to the Antarctic.

ACADEMIC LIVING ON THE PUBLIC DOLE #2
Right! And take pictures of melted ice, dying animals. Victory is ours!

ACADEMIC LIVING ON THE PUBLIC DOLE #3
Let's invite a journalist to party with us.

Scene 2 EXT - SHIP'S DECK - AFTERNOON

ACADEMICS (SHOUTING IN UNISON)
We're saved!